What.
I want it to be over. I want to disconnect. I would rewind if I could, but one can only move forward in life, never backwards. I would take things back. Things I do not regret. Things I'm glad I've done, I would erase from my mental records. I miss more than I should at this point. I'm missing what I don't want to be missing, what I told myself I wouldn't miss. Miss her, miss him, miss that, miss those, miss them, miss it, miss everything, miss how, miss when, miss you.

I'm happy. I'm learning, growing, taking it all in, loving every minute of it. New faces, new personalities, new styles, new atmospheres, new thoughts. I'm trying to stay focused, I just cant seem to keep my eyes open long enough to get a clear shot.


Last night I drove a little out of my way on my way home from work. I drove in the dark and I blasted Radiohead as loud as I could without it sounding shaky. For a few minutes my mind left my body and I felt really distant from everything... from the hands holding the steering wheel to the road itself. Only for a few minutes, nothing dangerous. But for a few minutes I didn't have a care in the world.


It doesn't have to be complicated.
What happened, really?
Honestly, fuck you.
But honestly, I'm so sorry.


I'm laying in my bed, in my room without windows, in my incense filled microcosm. No past, no present, no future, no one to miss, no one to know. Just one ongoing moment, one single ongoing moment. It's disconnected from everything. I'm disconnected.