urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:justxaxlittle Lyssa Lyssa 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:justxaxlittle:47778 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z It was never constant. It never made sense. Out of everything that happened it had to be the lack of any kind of consistency that really started gnawing at my skin. The impulsiveness , the random rush of erratic feelings that would linger for a few hours but wear off by morning...When shaking a bottle of soda, the carbonated gas within is trapped and proceeds to smother itself until finally the cap is removed and the liquid overflows. Life without release can be a dangerous thing. Keeping everything inside until you simply just explode, that can be lethal. <br /><br />I doubt either of us were ever really sure of what the hell was happening. I had a loose grip on things and maybe he was more aware than I had been... but what seemed reasonable in one moment, felt awful a moment later. It hurt and I'll admit it but I loved every second of it. Complicated is an understatement. <br /><br />It's never constant, and its starting to catch up with me.